Today we’re talking with Steven Allister Pendragon, main character of the upcoming novel HARMLESS, which according to my notes here is something of a dark comedy, murder-mystery mashup.

Interviewer:  Thanks for being here with us, Mr. Pendragon.

Steven Allister Pendragon:  Please, call me Steve.  That’s Steve with a V.

I:  Steve with a V?  I…what?  How else would you—why don’t you start by telling us a little about yourself?

SAP:  You know, whenever someone asks me that, I never really know how to answer.  What does “tell me about yourself” really even mean?  If you want to get existential, then you can look at it like, “tell me about your Self,” with a capital S, then I can get all Eckhart Tolle or Deepak Chopra on you.  Both great guys, by the way.  I mean, I can say my Self is this beautifully constructed entity, floating around in the ultra-consciousness of space, where we’re all interconnected with each other forming this sort of spiritual hive-minded unit motivated by love and some grander meaning of the universe.  Or you could simply be asking me what I like for breakfast…and that’s oatmeal…or what I do for a living, which really opens up another Pandora’s Box of even bigger questions, because what IS a living?  It’s a maddening question.

I:  Okay…  That’s not what…  Never mind.  Moving on.  It seems throughout the book that you have this sort of fascination with the Post Office.  Why is that?

SAP:  Why wouldn’t I be?  It’s such an amazing, intricate system that we all take for granted.  We lick a stamp, drop a letter in a box, and then forget about it.  We simply trust in the fact that this humongous machine of ingenuity will get our letter where it needs to go.  Didn’t you ever stop to think about how it gets to where it’s going, all these pieces that need to function in unison to get your one single little envelope thousands of miles away?  And that’s one letter!  One!  If you’re not totally blown away by the fact that the United States Postal Service processes one hundred and sixty billion pieces of mail annually, then I can’t help you.

I:  Interesting.  I never looked at it that way.

SAP:  Nobody does.  Not anymore.  It’s a shame, really.

I:  So how did Mr. Lindsey choose you and your life as the subject for this novel?

SAP:  Who wouldn’t choose me?  I’m kidding.  We had a lot of coffee together and talked it over and I guess he ultimately decided that my story was one worth telling.

I:  And what’s your story?

SAP:  Here we go again.  You mean my story, or the capital S story?

I:  Look, I’m not Matt Lauer here.  Just tell the audience what happens in the book, Steve.

SAP:  Oh, right, that story.  Plot probably would’ve been a better word to use if you want to get technical or literal.

I:  *sigh*  What’s the plot of HARMLESS?

SAP:  Here’s the thing…the story—wink wink, nudge nudge—it’s really a love story disguised as a murder-mystery.  It may not seem like it on the surface, but ultimately HARMLESS is about one man’s search for love and acceptance.  My journey, basically.  If you really want to delve deeper—

I:  I’m not sure I do…

SAP:  If you really want to delve deeper, we Pendragons are an elevated bunch, but we’re also sort of misunderstood.  It’s hard operating on this plane of existence that so few people ever get to—

I:  Steve?

SAP:  Yes?

I:  The plot?

SAP:  Oh, right.  The short version goes like this: someone murders my next-door neighbor, Kerry Parker, and it may or may not be me.  There’s always that little question hanging over your head, you know?  The first line of the novel is, “Here’s how it happened, and most of this is true,” or something like that.  The whole time, Mr. Lindsey really plays around with that fine line that exists between perception and reality.  What’s real and what we think is real.  Your reality and my reality aren’t the same just because of the way we perceive things.

I:  Thanks for keeping it short.  Let’s move on.  Now I’m really going to get Matt Lauer on you here.  In the beginning of the novel, you’re really portrayed as this sort of creepy jerk.  How’d you feel about that?

SAP:  I am?

I:  Haven’t you read it yet?

SAP:  Read it?  I lived it—really, he called me creepy?

I:  Not in so many words.

SAP:  Look, I know I may come across as a little—what’s the word—forward, but I’m not creepy.  I’m kind and caring.  Maybe a little too concerned about what people do but I’m only trying to help, you know?  If I showed you my report card from first grade, I remember this exactly, it said, “Plays well with others, but might be somewhat overzealous.”  Man, Mrs. Wallace.  I used to have such a crush on her.  I think that’s the first time I ever really felt what love might be like outside of the usual family-type love.  I didn’t know what it was, really, but I knew there was something there.  Of course she mistook my being concerned for the well-being of others for overzealousness, but I’d rather be overzealous than a creep, any day.  I think Mr. Lindsey and I will be having a discussion once the interview is over.  I have an image to protect here.

I:  An image?  Steve…you’re a fictional character.

SAP:  That doesn’t mean I’m not a real person with real feelings.

I:  Um…that’s exactly what it means.

SAP:  Next question, please.

I:  Did you murder Kerry Parker?

SAP:  What kind of sick, twisted question is that?  That’s outrageous—you better believe Brian Williams will be hearing about this.

I:  Answer the question.  Did you murder Kerry Parker?

SAP:  No.  No, okay?  I’m—I’m harmless.

::Removes microphone, storms out of the room::

Interviewer:  Well, then.  Stay tuned for HARMLESS!  Coming up after the break, a team of dancing monkeys.  You won’t want to miss this one, folks.

I’ll be publishing the new novel on my own, the one I completed about three weeks ago.  Formerly titled “The Wretch,” the new title will be HARMLESS.  It fits better, considering the main character and his …motivations.  Depending on my cover artist and the editor’s delivery date, I’m hoping it’ll be live and ready to go by this time next week.  Of course, that’s contingent on the amount of work it needs or changes I have to make, but thanks some of my dutiful beta readers, I think it’s fairly clean already.

HARMLESS is something of a mix between literary suspense and a dark comedy, but really, in a way it’s an unconventional love story.  It’s the longest one I’ve ever finished, that’s for sure, and clocks in around 88K words.  To put that into perspective, that’s probably close to a 400-page book, depending on the size of the paperback.

Here’s the blurb for it.  Let me know what you think in the comments, or feel free to shoot me an email!

***

There’s someone for everyone…even Steve.

On a day when things can’t possibly go worse for used-car salesman Steve Pendragon, somebody murders Kerry Parker, the guarded, secretive girl next door with something to hide. She also happened to be the love of his life, even though she didn’t exactly know it.

When the police hit a dead end in their investigation and he becomes the prime suspect, Steve fights to prove his innocence with the help of a reluctant officer, a crooked private investigator, and a random note in Kerry’s diary.  If he can’t, he’ll never make it back to the kind-hearted homeless woman who might be able to help him find the very thing he’s searching for.

There seems to be a running theme around here.  I blinked and it’s the end of April.  And, just like the last update, I’ve been writing and dad-ing.  The Wretch (tentative title) is progressing well and for those of you interested in word counts and completion percentages, I’m THISCLOSE to 70K words and probably around 80% complete.  (Maybe.)  As a frame of reference, for those of you that read SARA’S GAME, [...]

Just a quick update — where have I been?  Writing!  And stay-at-home dadding!  (That’s a verb, right?)  The days fly by.  I blinked and suddenly it’s the end of March. It feels like by next week, we’ll be waving goodbye as we send our son off to college.

I’m (approximately) 30% of the way through the new manuscript for The Wretch.  (Rough draft of the first chapter, if you’re inclined to take a look.)  Maybe I’ll get one of those progress bars put up on the site to keep myself on task, and you updated.  This one, however, will be going directly to my agents once it’s completed, so you may not get to see it for some time.  I do have to say that I feel like this is my best work yet, and if I can pull it off, if I can accomplish what I want with the storyline, it’ll be worth the wait.

In the meantime, SARA’S GAME is now available as an Audible Audiobook.  Erin Spencer’s reading is amazing and even if you’ve already read the book, I’d recommend giving it a listen just for her interpretation.

Onward.

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CHAPTER 1 – THE WHITE MOUNTAIN

The old chicken coop, wood gray and wires rusted, had been around since 1902, but the ragged hole in the door and the body lying face down in the petrified chicken droppings had been there for a few hours, according to the eyewitnesses.

Mary Walker, private investigator and former officer on the Smythville police force, shook her head as she stuffed her left hand into a pocket and readjusted the grip on her cane with the other.  She watched the crew while they catalogued the scene.  And the term crew was a slight misnomer.  Travis Tucker and Bill Gordon, a rookie detective and an aging patrolman, scoured the ground with wet knees and muddy palms.  Horace Baumgartner, the senior medical examiner who’d likely broken bread with dinosaurs in his youth, leaned up against a cherry tree and offered lazy suggestions from a distance.

Detective Henry Walls pulled a handkerchief from his back pocket and wiped [...]

A while back, I think it was around October(?), Hugh Howey of Wool fame was the Kindle Daily Deal on Amazon, and he likened the experience to being selected for Oprah’s Book Club, back in its heyday, where the mention could instantly propel you to the top of the charts, bestseller status and the like.

Which, based on my experience from February 2nd, has to be about as close of a comparison as you can get.

I’m about to put words into mouths here, [...]

A blog post!

Life : in a word : hectic

Our son turned five weeks old yesterday.  I know everyone says, “Enjoy it now, times flies,” but I never realized how skin-blisteringly (wow, MS Word says that’s a real word) fast it actually goes.  It’s been a learning process, for sure, but others have said, [...]

Born on December 13th, 2012 at 5:43PM : 7 pounds, 2 ounces : 20 inches long : both mama, baby, and dad are doing perfectly awesome

Minus the lack of sleep, of course.  Still managing to get some writing time in, though I’m fairly sure that most of my stopping points wind up looking something like…

The fireplace crackled with its slow burnjmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmkkkkkkaaaaammmmmmmaaaaaa

…due to my faceplant on the keyboard.

Pics!

SARA’S GAME is #29 in the entire Kindle store best sellers on Amazon!

Hanging out there with some pretty stiff competition, wouldn’t you say?